Don't Cry 4-3, Argentina

Americans love a champion, and every year, sports fans get to see new champions crowned. We've got a World Series, a Super Bowl, and NBA finals that drag on for months. We've got the Kentucky Derby, the Indianapolis 500, and the Nathan's Famous National Hot Dog Eating Contest. And every even-numbered year, the Olympics bring us more exotic champions in curling, synchronized swimming, and dancing horses.

But prosecutors insisted on penalty kicks, and in 2016, a court found Messi and his father guilty on three counts of fraud. (Clearly not Messi-ing around, right?) The court imposed a 21-month prison sentence (which was automatically suspended under Spanish law) and fined the pair another €3.1 million.

Not to be outdone, Messi's arch-rival Cristiano Ronaldo, who plays professionally for Real Madrid, just announced he would pay Spain €18.7 million to settle tax charges centered on his endorsements. Now, fans who bicker over who's the better player can start bickering over who's the better tax evader.

What kind of football do you prefer, the kind with headshots or the kind with helmets? Either way, we're sure you'd rather follow your favorite team than spend time looking for missed opportunities on your taxes. That's where our team comes in! So call for a plan, and see where in the world you can go with your savings!