Don't Gobblefunk Around!

The controversy over Willy Wonka continues. I admit that I thought it was limited to who was the best Willy Wonka – Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp? Recently, I learned that I was so wrong.  

Roald Dahl, the esteemed writer of children’s books, has been edited by his publishers for the terminology in his books – including “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”    They have been altering passages referring to a person’s weight, race, and gender to make the books more acceptable. That is like changing the secret recipe to Coke!  

These changes have not been well received by many conservatives. United Kingdom Prime Minster Rishi Sunak stated, “you should not gobblefunk around with words.”   Gobblefunk is a word created by Roald Dahl for “playing around with words.”  He invented 393 words for the English language out of the sheer belief that it would encourage young readers who may struggle with some concepts in his books. He thought that using unusual language would keep people interested in reading his stories.  

Not only was he a best-selling author of Children’s books, both movies about “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” were an enormous success. His story created the world which every child dreams about. To get the Golden Ticket and achieve your dreams. 

We all would like to find the last Golden Ticket. Sometimes we settle for the next best thing. The Rotary Club of Summit County is having its annual Lake Dillon Ice Melt Contest. Although you do not get to explore the wonders of the Willy Wonka candy factory and meet the Oompa Loompas, you do get to make good things happen. Things like Youth Leadership, Scholarships, Community Dinners, 365 Health Fair, Adopt an Angel, and many other projects to support the Summit County community. 

Each year the Summit Rotary takes a giant drum with a clock attached out to the middle of Lake Dillon. When the ice breaks and the clock go underwater, it stops working. Obviously, the clock is not a Timex. You guess the exact time which the clock will drop in the window. This is not without reward for the sharp guesser! 

• First prize is $4,000 – cold hard cash 

• Second prize is $2000 

• Third place is $1,000 

Who could not use $4,000? How many Wonka Bars can you buy for $4,000? To learn more about the Lake Dillon Ice Melt Contest, go to www.DillonIceMelt.com. 

We like to support the Rotary Club of Summit County and our community. Our offer is to provide you with a free Rotary 2023 Ice Melt Ticket. Sorry, we are all out of Wonka Bars. 

How do you get this precious chance of adventure? Register below with your name and email address.  

From those who register, we will draw a winner to give them their Ice Melt Ticket. Our drawings will take place every Friday from February 24 to March 31. Winners will be announced on Facebook and yes, they will receive an email from us. Act fast to make your guess. Dillon Ice Melt closes at midnight, Monday, April 17 or earlier if the clock drops into the lake before that date. 

Stone Wealth Strategies. is a registered investment adviser. The information presented is for educational purposes only and is not intended to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance. 

A Visit From St. Nicholas

'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house, not a client was stirring, not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that more tax shelters soon would be there

Dependents were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of tax-free gifts danced in their heads

And I in my kerchief (and also my cap) had just settled down for a long winter nap

When out on the street there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter!

Away to the window I flew like a bee, knocked over my laptop and even my tree

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a recaptured sleigh, and eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than refunds his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now! Cost-Seg, now! S-corp, now! Roth IRA, Gift-leaseback! Self-rental! now 401k!;

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As tax cheats before the grim auditors fly, when they meet with subpoenas, mount to the sky;

So up to the office the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of loopholes — and Santa Claus too:

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound:

He was dress'd all in fur, from his head to his foot, and even his ten-key was covered with soot;

A briefcase of papers held tight in his hand, all big words and numbers you don't understand:

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples: how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, as if daring the Tax Court to try and say "no";

The stump of a pen he held tight in his teeth, and a register tape wrapped his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face, and a little round belly (He writes off his breakfasts with honey and jelly!)

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laugh'd when he saw him in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye, and a "no change" letter, soon let me know I could start feeling better.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, fill'd all our stockings; then turn'd with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, with his coat free from ash, and he looked just as dazzling as fresh tax-free cash:

But I heard him exclaim, with no hint of a stress — "Merry Christmas to all, and be sure to pay less!"