Look What's Hiding Here

Everyone understands the concept of a "tax haven" — a delightfully sunny island somewhere in the subtropics, or a cozy European duchy tucked away on a scenic Alpine lake. Perhaps the global rich who take advantage of these safe deposit boxes just want someplace nice to stay when they visit their money. Surely that's why places like Kazakhstan and Burundi struggle to attract their share of global "flight capital." Tucking your money someplace miserable would just be silly when the world offers so many sunnier places for shady people to park their cash.

Except, it turns out not every tax haven lures depositors with sunny beaches, high-rise condos, and Hermès boutiques. In fact, there's a new financial hot spot that's grown from $57 billion to $355 billion in assets in just a single decade. No, there's not a Lamborghini dealer in site. "Dakota" is the name . . . specifically, South Dakota, the Mount Rushmore State. It's a mostly flat, featureless landscape that shares a 383-mile border with North Dakota — a place whose very name suggests such bleak desolation that officials once considered dropping "North" from the name entirely.

(Did you know we even have two Dakotas? Not everyone does!)

Trusts, not taxes, are the main reason South Dakota has become such a go-to spot for foreign money. Keeping your principal safe, it turns out, is sometimes even more important than keeping your income safe from taxes. If you're a Russian potash oligarch worried about Putin seizing your mines, a central African kleptocrat losing sleep over the ethnic minority you've been oppressing for a generation, or el jefe of a middling Columbian cartel, you want to stash your "safe" money someplace where no one can even find it, let alone steal it back.

Let's see . . . Switzerland is too obvious, the Caymans are too cliched, and the Cook Islands are just too far away. Look at this, though — the United States is the only major financial center that's not part of the international "Common Reporting Standard" agreement, so they won't report your U.S. assets back to your homeland!

Having said that, South Dakota trusts offer game-changing tax benefits for American money, too. If you leave your assets to your heirs in a regular trust, anything over about $12 million per person gets whacked by estate taxes at 40% — every generation. Most rich people are rightly terrified at the thought of their wastrel heirs struggling to eke out an existence on just $12 million. South Dakota was the first state to eliminate the common-law "rule against perpetuities," ushering in so-called "dynasty trusts" that never distribute their principal, thus avoiding transfer tax hits forever.

Eliminating that federal estate tax hit isn't the only way South Dakota trusts help rich people keep their assets under wraps. Local legislators have also made South Dakota the only state allowing true perpetual trusts with no state income tax, no tax on capital gains, and no state-level estate tax at all. Finally, South Dakota courts let trust grantors, fiduciaries, and beneficiaries seal filings and orders, in perpetuity, for ultimate privacy.

The lesson here is that you'll never know where the most powerful financial strategies are lurking. That's why we spend so much time looking for them, so we can put them to work for you!

Welcome to the Desert of the Real

Twenty years ago, sci-fi fans geeked out to a new thriller called The Matrix following a dystopian vein established in Blade Runner, Total Recall, and The Terminator. It starred Keanu Reeves as "Neo" and Laurence Fishburne as "Morpheus": freedom fighters in a world where machines have trapped humanity in a computer-generated dreamscape called the Matrix, to distract their minds while sucking energy from their bodies and brains. (Their allies include another hacker named Trinity, famed for cracking the IRS database, but that's not what brings us here today.)

Early in Act One, Morpheus shows Neo two pills that look like ordinary cold medicine and presents him with a choice. "This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." It wouldn't have been much of a movie if Neo had taken the blue pill — fortunately for viewers (and humanity), he picks red and challenges the machines to a future where "anything is possible."

The Matrix established the blue pill and red pill as cultural metaphors for two very different perspectives on the world. The blue pill represents, at its worst, basking in sheeplike submission and accepting an essentially dishonest illusion. The red pill, by contrast, represents the genuine freedom and opportunity that come from accepting harsh but liberating reality. The choice you make has consequences in every aspect of your life — including your taxes and your finances.

In our world, every competent tax professional works within the system. (The occasional crooks who cheat on behalf of their clients make headlines because they're so rare.) Most tax pros work the blue pill side of the line. They passively take the numbers their clients bring them, from their P&L statements, their W-2s, and 1099s. They feed the data into their computers to put the right numbers in the right boxes on the right forms. They do a great job telling clients how much they owe — and for most clients, the blue pill may be all they need.

But some tax pros do things a little differently. They work the red pill side of the line. They don't just take the numbers you give them and run them through "the Matrix" of IRS forms and procedures. They help you structure your business entities, your benefit plans, and perhaps even your investment portfolio to pay the minimum possible tax. They don't just accept the story the IRS writes for them. They work within the system to write you a happier ending.

You may not think choosing a tax advisor is quite as consequential as choosing between the red pill and the blue. But Neo didn't realize he was living in the Matrix, either, not until Morpheus welcomed him to the desert of the real. The good news is, at least as far as taxes are concerned, the red pill doesn't require you to outrun creepy agents of post-apocalyptic artificial intelligence or dodge bullets in a shadowy subway tunnel. It just takes opening your eyes to all the legal, ethical, and moral ways to pay less.

You don't have to be a sci-fi fan to appreciate that sort of success. And you don't have to follow the movies to appreciate the savings we create with the "red pill" approach. Just sit back and enjoy the show. And maybe next time you're feeling philosophical, ask yourself if the tax system we work in is real, or are we just trapped in some sort of twisted virtual reality? 

Risky Business

Turn on any television, any time of day or night, and you're likely to see an insurance ad, or two, or a dozen. Flo is showing off her "name your price" tool, which sure looks like her company's way of saying "you may not be able to afford all the insurance you need, but we're happy to sell you whatever you can afford." There's the ubiquitous gecko, telling you his company sells insurance for your RV and motorcycle, too. And there's Duncan, age 42, buying an incredible half-million dollars of term life insurance for just $27 per month.

 Losing a tax audit may not sound as tragic as, say, Keith Richards losing his hands. But the whole concept of "insurance" is about guaranteeing payment in the event of a specified loss. So, if Keith Richards can insure the hands that conjured up "Jumpin' Jack Flash" out of an ordinary six-string, shouldn't we be able to buy insurance to cover unexpected losses to the IRS? It turns out the answer is yes . . . and there's even more than one way to do it.

    Business owners can use something called an enterprise risk management program to insure risks that they're currently covering out of their own pockets. These typically include operational and strategic risks, like the cost of defending sexual harassment claims, cyber risks, and the loss of key suppliers or vendors. But you might also insure against the cost of defending an IRS audit. The cost of insuring the risk is deductible — and if you have to collect, the cost of defending yourself is deductible, too!

Fortunately, most tax savings don't call for any insurance at all. We help clients save taxes with a complete menu of court-tested, IRS-approved strategies. In fact, some of our most powerful strategies actually lower your risk of being audited. So leave the gecko at home, because he wouldn't be any help at an audit anyway, and see if we can save you 15% or more on your income tax!

Law & Order: Tax Crimes Unit

In the criminal justice system, tax-based offenses aren't considered especially heinous . . . but they still cost the government a ton of money. In field offices throughout the country, the dedicated Special Agents who investigate these expensive felonies are members of an elite squad known as IRS Criminal Investigation. (They're also the only IRS agents who get to pack heat, rock a Kevlar vest, and go undercover.) From the FY 2018 CI Annual Report, these are their stories. (Dun Dun.)

• Shawanda Nevers — aka Shawanda Hawkins, Shawanda Bryant, and Shawanda Johnson — operated several businesses in New Orleans, including a sports bar and a tax-prep shop. She must have thought her taxes should be as spicy as her cooking. So she whipped up returns giving her clients fake business losses, deductions, and credits. In 2014, the IRS permanently barred her from preparing taxes. But she kept letting les bon temps rouler until CI agents busted her again, fined her $7 million, and sentenced her to seven years of bland prison chow.

• Kelly Sue Reynolds worked as a bookkeeper in North Carolina. Over five years, she embezzled $439,459.97 from her employer, including the money that was supposed to pay their taxes. (That's the mark of a top-notch bookkeeper, right? They can tell you down to the penny how much they stole.) When the IRS came looking for their money, CI agents busted Reynolds' scheme. Now she's counting down two years in the "camp" where Martha Stewart served. It's been called "America's cushiest prison" . . . but Reynolds still gets to learn if orange really is the new black.

• Rick Rizzollo ran a "gentleman's club" in Las Vegas, where he paid employees in cash and filed bogus employment tax returns. (He's a real gentleman himself — he hired teenage strippers, and used a baseball bat to "persuade" customers into signing fraudulent credit card charges.) In 2006, he copped to the employment tax fraud. Then he hid his money to dodge the back taxes and sent $900,000 from selling a second club to an account in the Cook Islands. But CI agents demanded the naked truth, and helped send Rizzollo to 24 months in a place where the "bouncers" don't wear tuxedos.

• Lizzie Mulder (not a CPA) posed as a CPA in California, where she had clients make out checks payable to "Income Tax Payments." Perfectly kosher, right? What clients didn't know was that she had set up a phony account called (wait for it) "Income Tax Payments," under her own name. She used their money for a pricey house, cosmetic surgery, vacations, and an Arabian horse. Lizzie's husband ratted her out to clients, then CI agents joined to "stable" her in a Phoenix prison for five years.

• Monsignor (!) Hien Minh Nguyen was a priest for the San Jose archdiocese and director of the local Vietnamese Catholic Center. Apparently he missed class the day they discussed that whole "poverty" thing in priest school. Nguyen stole cash donations from parishioners and deposited their checks in his personal account, among other sins. CI agents visited him, hoping for a confession, and used his lies and inconsistent answers to build a case that led to $1.9 million in restitution and three years in prison. (He can probably count on a few years in purgatory, too.)

It's sometimes fun to see what happens to people when their good judgment and common sense take early retirement. Of course we all want to pay less tax! But you don't have to risk a visit from a pistol-packing Special Agent to do it. Call us for a plan, and see how much you can save without posing for mug shots. 

A Song of Fire and Taxes

Sunday night, millions of Game of Thrones fans who waited breathlessly for 20 months finally got rewarded with their next installment what's become the biggest TV show on the planet. Cersei discovered (redacted). Jon Snow learned that .... (sorry, no spoilers here). And that guy with the eye patch and flaming sword probably does great on Tinder. (Seriously, what fair maiden wouldn't swipe right on him?) Last week, we speculated about how taxes work in Game of Thrones and concluded there are two groups of winners, at least as far as taxes are concerned. The first are the governments collecting taxes from the show's creators, cast, and crew. The second are those collecting taxes from tourists visiting the show's spectacular filming locations, like Spain's Alcazar Palace or Gaztelugatxe. (Remarkably, not a typo.) But there's another important lesson worth spending a second week on. (If you're not a fan, don't worry, we're not turning this into the Westerosi Weekly Tax Journal.)

Last week, we speculated about how taxes work in Game of Thrones and concluded there are two groups of winners, at least as far as taxes are concerned. The first are the governments collecting taxes from the show's creators, cast, and crew. The second are those collecting taxes from tourists visiting the show's spectacular filming locations, like Spain's Alcazar Palace or Gaztelugatxe. (Remarkably, not a typo.) But there's another important lesson worth spending a second week on. (If you're not a fan, don't worry, we're not turning this into the Westerosi Weekly Tax Journal.)

But what we can give you is an ever-expanding menu of concepts and strategies to slow or stop the White Walkers of unnecessary taxes. If you want to pay the legal minimum, you need someone who speaks "taxes" as fluently as Danaerys's translator Missandrei, who can say "loophole" in 19 different languages. Are you selling a business and looking at a seven-figure tax bill? We've got the dragonglass for that. Looking to maximize your real estate depreciation deductions? We've got your Valyrian steel. So when you're done watching Thrones, call us to put our wildfire to work! 

Nobody's Perfect

Nobody really likes to pay taxes. It’s no surprise, then, that so many people work so hard to avoid them. As humorist Fran Lebowitz once said, “a dog who thinks he is man’s best friend is a dog who has obviously never met a tax lawyer.” Truly proactive tax professionals like us understand that you don’t just want to know how much you owe. You want us to use the ins and outs of the tax code to help you pay less.

And so this week’s episode of Beat the Tax Man takes us to David Burbach, a municipal swimming pool consultant and designer from warm, sunny Wisconsin. Now you might think that cash-strapped local governments would rather pay for sewer systems or orange barrels than swimming pools. But Burbach is clearly good at his job — he’s designed over 600 pools nationwide.

Naturally, that’s led to some big personal income tax bills. Burbach had also started worrying about legal sharks feasting on his riches if one of his pool designs were to fail.

Burbach’s search for asset protection and tax relief led him to an accountant named George Eldridge, who marketed himself as more than your run-of-the-mill, numbers-in-boxes kind of guy. Eldridge presented himself as a bare-knuckle brawler, gleefully taking on the IRS on his clients’ behalf:

“Are you a Beleaguered American Taxpayer? Is the Grizzly Bear {the IRS} feasting sumptuously in [sic] your money that you have earned by work? * * * Are you ever going to use Rule of Law to stop paying maximum taxes to the Grizzly Bear? Do you have the heart to use Rule of Law through me? * * * What is your decision?”

Burbach is an engineer by training, and he probably would have done more homework if he were buying a used Volkswagen Jetta. But he dove right in and agreed to pay Eldridge $12,000 per month for his protection.

Eldridge set up one corporation to hold Burbach’s business, another to hold his real estate, a third corporation that never seemed to serve any purpose, and a nonprofit corporation to hold Burbach’s collection of historic Ford cars, trucks, and tractors. (The goal was to open a “museum” that would be open from 8AM to 10AM, weather permitting, during summer months, only. Uh, right.) Eldridge also formed a defined benefit pension plan based on “director’s fees” from his corporation.

Now, corporations, nonprofits, and defined benefit pension plans are all perfectly legitimate tax-planning tools. Unfortunately, Eldridge’s follow-through didn’t hold water. For starters, he never even bothered filing Burbach’s taxes! (Eldridge told him that corporations have six years to file.) Burbach’s empty promises led Burbach down a path that might have been funny if he hadn’t wound up in court.

Burbach had to know he was going to get doused with taxes. However, he argued he had reasonably relied on Eldridge’s advice, so he should avoid penalties for Eldridge’s failures. Tax Court Judge Holmes opened his opinion on Burbach’s claim by quoting from Professor Harold Hill of The Music Man. And you can probably guess that quoting a fictional con man isn’t a good sign for the taxpayer.

This week’s story offers all sorts of lessons. But the most important one is something you learned long before you knew about taxes: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. So don’t be afraid to challenge us to show you the receipts. You’ll wind up paying less tax and sleeping better, too!

Change of Address

Moving to a new home can mark an exciting transition in life. Maybe you've just gotten married and you're settling into a real house after a series of walkup apartments. Maybe your children are finally out of the house and you're trading four bedrooms and a suburban backyard for lofty downtown sophistication. Maybe you're ready to retire and opt out of snowy winters for good.

Moving is also a monumental pain in the butt. We're not just talking about packing up and sorting through years (decades?) of accumulated stuff. We're talking about the practical details of changing your address with everyone from your bank to your car registration to your family . . . including, of course, your Uncle Sam. If you don't dot your i's and cross your t's, you can wind up in a fair amount of trouble. And so this week's story takes us deep into the weeds of something you wouldn't think the IRS needs to argue about: the all-important "last known address."

Damian and Shayla Gregory moved from Jersey City, NJ to nearby Rutherford on June 30, 2015. For some reason, they filed their 2014 tax return from their old address in Jersey City. Then they won the lottery. Unfortunately, it wasn't the Powerball, it was the audit lottery. And they didn't win the $7,000 per week for life they were hoping for — they won a demand for more tax!

While the IRS was auditing them, the Gregorys filed a power of attorney and extension to file their 2015 return from the new address. Now, you'd think that would be enough to put the IRS "on notice" that they had moved. Sadly, you would be wrong. And so, with the audit over, the IRS sent their demand to the Gregory's old address in Jersey City. (The Post Office returned it as undeliverable.) The Gregorys finally learned about the deficiency three months later. They filed a petition challenging it in Tax Court literally that same day. But the IRS told them no dice.

Naturally, the IRS has miles of red tape governing all of this. 26 CFR §301.6212-2 defines "last known address" as the one that "appears on the taxpayer's most recently filed and properly processed Federal tax return, unless the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is given clear and concise notification of a different address." Rev. Proc. 2010-16 goes on to list the forms that qualify, and states clearly that the power of attorney and extension don't count. Even the instructions for those forms say you can't use them to change your address. And so the Tax Court ruled for the IRS.

The Gregorys weren't completely off-base asking the IRS for a break. Courts have said that if the IRS knows a taxpayer has moved, they should exercise due diligence to find them, even if they haven't given notice. Having said that, last October the Tax Court ruled the IRS didn't have to sic the bloodhounds on Daniel Sadek, a California subprime lending "mogul" who racked up $25 million in tax deficiencies before fleeing his "last known address" in California to ride out an FBI investigation in Beirut. (Nothing suspicious about that move, right?)

Here's the broader lesson from this week's story. Beating the IRS starts with big-picture strategies like choosing the right business entity, finding the right benefit plans, and taking advantage of code-based savings strategies. But concepts and strategies aren't enough. Implementation is the key to putting them to work, and you can't overlook the details. That's where we comes in. So call us when you're ready to work the system and let us put those strategies to work for you!

Batter Up!

Choosing where to live is one of the most important decisions we make on this journey we call life. Do we embrace the familiar comfort of the small town where we grew up, or do we strike off for fame and fortune in the big city? Do we celebrate new advances in home snowblower technology, or do we opt-out of winter entirely on a houseboat in the Keys? Choosing where to put down roots is an intensely emotional choice. But for some of us, it's a tax-planning choice, too.

Bryce Harper is a baseball player who lives in his native Las Vegas. Up until last season, he played right field for the Washington Nationals, where he became the youngest National League MVP ever. He's especially good at hitting home runs on Opening Day, and was the first player to hit five home runs in Opening Day games before age 25. Last year, Harper made $21.65 million for his effort, which means the umpires at the IRS will be rooting for him all season long.

Harper is 26 now, with a new wife and probably a family on the way. Time to come to the mound for some adult financial planning, right? And so, on March 2, Harper signed a 13-year, $330 million contract with the Philadelphia Phillies. It's the biggest free-agent deal in American sports, and works out to $156,695.16 per regular-season game. Remarkably, it wasn't even Harper's highest offer — the Giants offered $312 million over 12 years, while the Dodgers reportedly dangled north of $35 million per year.

But Harper's choice is a great example of tax planning. The California offers Harper let go may have looked more generous than the Philly pitch he swung on. But California beans players with a 13.3% tax on income over $1 million, while Pennsylvania caps its tax at just 3.07%. Think of the Philadelphia pitch as a meatball down the middle, while the California offers were more like hanging sliders.

Harper won't escape California tax entirely. He'll pay whatever "jock tax" applies to income from road games, which means paying the California rates when he visits National League rivals in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and San Diego. But the difference could mean Harper keeps tens of millions more in Philadelphia than in California.

Baseball players aren't the only 1%-ers to consider taxes in their decisions where to work. In 2016, hedge fund manager David Tepper, who earned $6 billion from 2012 to 2015, fled New Jersey for Florida. His move could cost the Garden State hundreds of millions in tax. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, which caps deductions for state and local taxes at just $10,000, has nudged residents of high-tax states like New York and New Jersey to consider sunnier tax climates in Florida, Texas, and Nevada.

And Harper can be glad he's not facing even tougher choice-of-venue questions. For example, the Supreme Court just agreed to decide whether North Carolina can tax the undistributed income of a New York trust based on the beneficiary's residence in North Carolina. Now, that may sound like a boring technical question. (Ok, it is.) But it's the kind of debate that gets the coolest kids in the Tax Club really excited.

The bottom line here is important whether you're at the plate or just watching from the stands. Every financial decision you make has at least some tax consequence. And the choices you make today can produce home runs for season after season. So make the smart choice . . . come to us for a tax plan, and see if we can help you hit it out of the park!

And the Oscar Goes To. . . The IRS!

Oscar night is the biggest night in Hollywood. The stars shine just a little bit brighter. The red carpets stretch just a little bit farther. And the bloated egos get just a little bit bloatier, if that's possible. (Here's looking at you, Bradley Cooper.) Ironically, fewer and fewer of us tune in to the actual ceremony. Why give up hours of your life watching celebrities congratulate each other when you could fit a couple of full-length movies in the same length of time?

Nominees for the top five prizes — Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Director — bring an extra guest to the party, in the form of the IRS. It's not because they take home any actual cash. It's because they leave with an "Everyone Wins" swag bag assembled by Distinctive Assets, a product-placement company that's not affiliated with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, but also not afraid to hitch their wagon to Oscar's relentless publicity machine.

Distinctive Assets has never been shy about promoting the value of their bag. In 2016, the collection, which included a 10-day trip to Israel, a 15-day "Walk Japan" tour, a year's worth of Audi rentals, and a 10,000-meal donation to the animal shelter of the donor's choice, crossed the $230,000 line. That sounds like a lot to the average fan. But it may not mean that much to the stars who can make north of $20 million per picture.

Of course, calling the bag a "gift" doesn't actually make it a gift. That's where the IRS comes in. The tax code defines a gift as something you get out of affection or respect. And while the Avaton Luxury Villas Resort in Greece may have really liked watching Christian Bale retreat to an undisclosed location in Vice, the real reason they're comping him a week at the beach is to attract new guests. So . . . the swag bag is taxable income. In fact, Distinctive Assets even sends the nominee a Form 1099 reminding them to report it!

This year's bag includes the usual collection of glamour vacations, including a small-ship cruise to Iceland, the Galapagos, the Amazon, or Costa Rica & Panama. You'll also find the sort of only-in-Hollywood treats you would expect: Coda Signature gift boxes with cannabis-infused hand-painted truffles and chocolate bars, private phobia-relief sessions with the world's #1 phobia expert, a CloSYS "spa kit for your mouth," and a PETA spy pen to help blow the whistle on animal abuse.

But this year, there's no price tag. "A great gift has nothing to do with the retail value," Distinctive Assets founder Lash Fary said in a statement. "For years we have been breaking one of the cardinal rules of gift giving by disclosing the price tag. Instead, we are trying to start a new tradition by simply celebrating the fun and festive nature of this legendary gift bag." (Of course, they'll still be declaring an amount on those 1099s they send next January.)

What if Best Supporting Actor Mahershala Ali doesn't want the tax headaches that come with his goodies? He can always give some to charity. (Does he really need the Blush & Whimsy limited-edition rose gold lipstick?) But he still has to report the value of anything he re-gifts in his income before deducting it as a charitable gift.

Last year, the Academy proposed a new award for Outstanding Achievement in Popular Film. It would be the first new category since Best Animated Feature in 2001. And it gives us hope that, someday, they'll add an Oscar for Best Performance in Tax Planning. Wouldn't that be great? We'll keep you posted and let you know when to look for us on the red carpet!

Puzzling Questions

Americans love puzzles, games, and brain teasers. Newspapers publish crossword puzzles, word-search puzzles, and word jumbles. Bookstores sell jigsaw puzzles. And airport gift shops stock Sudoku puzzles to pass the hours in the sky. We love puzzles so much that someone found their way to a basement office in Washington where the Department of Bogus Holidays litters our calendars with junk celebrations like National Talk Like Yoda Day (May 21) and National Eat Your Beans Day (July 3), and made it official. And so Tuesday, January 29 will be #NationalPuzzleDay.

Most people think of puzzles as trivial diversions. But planning to avoid taxes is a puzzle, too. And, as the English economist John Maynard Keynes once said, "The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward." So, while tax planning may not be as fun as finishing a crossword puzzle (in ink), we think you'll agree it's far more rewarding.

Consider the basic challenge of choosing how to organize your business. If you operate as a sole proprietor (or an LLC taxed as a sole prop) and earn $200,000, you'll pay self-employment tax on every dime of it. On the bright side, that's $21,836 that gets credited to your Social Security account. Of course, that won't mean much if you don't believe Social Security will still be there for you when you retire. (Rule of thumb: if you're young enough to have tattoos, don't count on it.) 

Now, if you elect to be taxed as an S corporation, and the reasonable compensation for the work you do is $100,000, you could save yourself a sweet $6535 in tax. It's even sweeter than contributing to a retirement plan or buying new equipment for your business because you aren't spending anything to get a deduction. You're just paying employment tax on less income. That doesn't sound like much of a puzzle, right?

But consider this . . . if you want to hire your minor kids to shift income to their lower bracket, now they'll owe FICA they wouldn't if you were still a sole proprietor. Oh, and now you can't use that corporation to cover yourself under a medical expense reimbursement plan. But wait, there's a workaround to that problem. You can just buy a high-deductible health plan and establish a health savings account. Or maybe you could establish another proprietorship, or C corporation, and pay MERP benefits from that business.

Having fun yet? Of course, now your "covered comp" for determining retirement plan contributions will be based on the salary only, not your whole income. If you're used to maximizing a SEP contribution, you'll find yourself saving a whole lot less with the S corp.

Aren't puzzles great? Now, at that point, you could switch from the SEP to a solo or safe harbor 401k, perhaps with a cross-tested profit-sharing contribution. You could even look at a defined benefit pension plan. (Yes, it's the Studebaker of retirement plans, but sometimes it's the right answer). But that raises the question whether you belong in a traditional qualified plan at all — or whether you're better off with a Roth or insurance-based plan.

All of a sudden, that National Puzzle Day that sounded so much fun about seven paragraphs ago is starting to look about as fun as that new Escape Room movie, right? Don't worry . . . when it comes to organizing your business, or any other tax challenge, we're here to find the best solution. We really like these puzzles, and nobody does it better!

Do Androids Dream of Electric Audits?

In 1982, the movie Blade Runner presented a technologically advanced vision of the year 2019. There were flying cop cars. (What grim dystopian movie doesn't feature flying cars?) There was commercial space travel. There were bioengineered androids, known as "replicants," that drove the story. The film even predicted voice-controlled video phones to communicate with our offices!

Today's reality isn't quite so exciting. We've got the voice-activated video phones! But we're not using them to summon flying cars or book trips to the Moon. No, we're using them to waste time checking Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We pick up our phone every 12 minutes on average, and spend three hours and 35 minutes per day with our heads buried in our screens. Psychiatrists have even identified "internet addiction disorder" as a "condition for further study."

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. The IRS manages several Twitter feeds for taxpayers and professionals that are worth following. But now they're looking to get even more involved. We're not talking about auditors posting pictures of their dogs (although we'd totally follow that, too). Instead, they want to investigate whether social media can help them collect taxes.

Current IRS rules generally prohibit employees from using any social media at work. They specifically can't create fake accounts to "friend" you and snoop on your finances. But the IRS knows that people post enormous amounts of information online, information they can use to help with collections. So last month, the IRS issued a request for information and product demonstrations from electronic research vendors. They're hoping to find a vendor who can:

• "Provide a product that is easily explainable in court."

• "Provide real time, customizable reports of publicly available social media information (provided or advertised by businesses), such as new products, current sales, and new locations."

• "Provide reports showing that a taxpayer participated in an online chat room, blog, or forum, and reports showing the chat room or blog conversation threads."

• "Provide available biometric data, such as photos, current address, or changes to marital status."

• "Provide access for at least 25,000 concurrent users."

Show of hands here: who wants any part of the government tracking your profile photos, status alerts, or chat room conversations? The good news is that, at least for now, the IRS would use their new super power for good, not evil. "Such a tool would not be used to search the internet or social media sites for purposes of identifying or initiating new tax audits." Of course, that doesn't mean the IRS won't get more aggressive down the road, using predictive analytics and social media as part of a broader effort to target specific taxpayers for extra attention.

The IRS's move towards harnessing social media is part of a broader movement to put "Big Data" to work for various goals. But data isn't always bad. Here at our firm, we're using it to help clients like you pay less tax. So call us when you're ready to join the future. Someday your savings might pay for your own flying car!

Paying Your Tax Bill With Magic Beans?

If you pay attention to financial news, you can't escape hearing about Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin is just like country music, Justin Bieber, and pineapple on pizza — people either love it, or hate it, but there's no middle ground. The billionaire Warren Buffet dismisses it as a "mirage," a "Buck Rogers" phenomenon, and "rat poison squared." But legions of fans see it someday replacing government-backed currencies. Odds are good that one of the millennials at your holiday table believes in Bitcoin as hopefully as they used to believe in Santa Claus.

Just as Pinocchio always wanted to be a real boy, Bitcoin wants to be real money. That means accomplishing two goals. First, it has to serve as a store of value. You have to be confident that if you put something in, you'll be able to get the same value out. And second, it has to serve as a medium of exchange. That means you have to be able to use it to pay for things just like you would use cash.

So far, Bitcoin's record in both areas is spotty. If you were one of the unfortunates who jumped into the market a year ago at $17,900, you're probably not feeling the love now that it's collapsed to $4,000. Similarly, if you've tried to use it to pay for gas or groceries, you've probably gotten blank stares from the cashier.

And so, at least until now, Bitcoin and its blockchain-based peers like Ethereum have made news mainly for their wild price fluctuations. But last month, Ohio Treasurer Josh Mandel announced the Buckeye State would become the first to accept Bitcoin for tax payments. For now, the program is limited to business filers, although they can use Bitcoin to pay for any type of tax. However, the state plans to expand the program to individuals down the road. (We're not sure if that will happen before or after Ohio finally gets a decent professional football team.)

Treasurer Mandel, who at age 41 is young enough to consider himself an honorary millennial, is a longtime fan of the currency. But last month's move is part of a broader effort to attract software engineers and tech startups to the state. "We're doing this to plant the flag in Ohio as a national and international leader in blockchain technology," said Mandel. 

Ohio has set up a website (of course) at OhioCrypto.com to accept payments. They've engaged a company called Bitpay to process the transactions and convert the coins into cash. The fee for that service is just 1%, which is cheaper than using a credit card.

Will virtual currencies someday break through into the mainstream? At this point, who knows? (We're still waiting for the flying cars we saw on The Jetsons — although Rosie the robot housekeeper is almost here, and you can buy a watch to make video calls with Mr. Spacely for $279). And while Bitcoin itself is grabbing most of the cryptocurrency headlines, it may not be the ultimate winner. (Google wasn't the first online search engine, either.) If recent trends are any guide, Bitcoin will remain a punchline until suddenly, one day, it's not.

Here's the real bottom line of last month's news. The world is changing — and, like it or not, we have to change with it. That's true for tax professionals, too. The Flintstones may have been perfectly happy with someone telling them how much they owe. But the Jetsons want to know how to pay less. That's where we come in — and we're looking forward to helping you through 2019 and beyond!

Carrots Versus Sticks

Take a look at our Internal Revenue Code. No, really, take a good look. (You can buy it on Amazon for just $161.89: two thick paperbacks totaling 4,968 pages. You even get free Prime shipping!) At first glance, it's all about the revenue. For FY 2019, federal income taxes should hit nearly $1.7 trillion. Payroll taxes will top $1.2 trillion. Corporate taxes, $225 billion. And estate taxes will generate somewhere around $20 billion, depending on how many billionaires die (#dropinthebucket).

But taxes aren't just about the revenue. Washington loves to use taxes to accomplish goals they can't legislate directly. This generally takes the form of "tax expenditures" — special deductions, credits, or other rules designed to benefit specific favored activities or taxpayers.

The mortgage interest deduction may be the most famous of these carrots. For most people, homeownership is a cornerstone of the American Dream. But Congress would be hard-pressed to pass legislation requiring it, or even directly rewarding it. (Buy a home! Get a free $5,000 Target gift card!) So instead, they use taxes to subsidize it. For 2018, homeowners saved $68.1 billion by deducting mortgage interest on their taxes. 

But every so often, the government uses taxes as a stick . . . or at least they try to. Last week, the Wall Street Journal published an editorial blowing the whistle on one such effort that may violate the First Amendment. Specifically, it accuses the IRS of punishing nonprofit organizations that advocate for legal marijuana:

"The innocuously named Revenue Procedure 2018-5 contains a well-hidden provision enabling the Service to withhold tax-exempt status from organizations seeking to improve 'business conditions . . . relating to an activity involving controlled substances (within the meaning of Schedule I and II of the Controlled Substances Act) which is prohibited by federal law.' That means that to obtain tax-exempt status under any provision of the Internal Revenue Code's Section 501 — whether as a charity, social-welfare advocacy group or other type of nonprofit — an organization may not advocate for altering the legal regime applicable to any Schedule I or II substance."

Bottom line, according to the authors: "The IRS seeks to control independent policy advocacy. That's something the federal government may not do." If they can't prohibit the speech directly, they can't use the tax system to do it indirectly. 

Yes, "the devil's lettuce" is still prohibited under federal law. But 33 states have passed laws legalizing it in some form or another. It says a lot that the buttoned-down stiffs at the Wall Street Journal could publish the same editorial as the stoners at High Times magazine. So why would the IRS choose to wield this particular stick? And is it really the IRS's job to make those sorts of decisions anyway? Isn't the IRS just supposed to be the government's bill collector?

As far as we're concerned, we don't care what motivates you more, carrots or sticks. We just want to make sure you get all the breaks the law allows. But we can't do it if you don't ask us. So pick up the phone before time runs out to save in 2018, and lets see how we can put the rules to work for you!

Over-the-Top Thanks For This Tax "Break"

Wall Streeters have a lot to give thanks for this holiday season. Earnings are up, so bonuses are up. And that, in turn, means taxes are up, too. The New York Post just reported that Wall Street Bankers Are Throwing Excessive Parties To Dodge Taxes. But will the wining and dining actually put money back in their pockets? Or is the tax angle just a convenient excuse to party up a storm on the company tab?

Wall Street culture rewards bankers for results. They generally start out with low fixed salaries, at least as a percentage of their overall pay. Then, around this time of year, the bosses get together to count their profits, and shower producers with whatever bonuses it takes to keep them from jumping ship to the competition. In 2017, Wall Street pay jumped 13% to average $422,500 per head. And one consultant predicts sales and trading pros could see 20% more this year in their stockings.

Here's the problem for all those Masters of the Universe glamming it up in their Manhattan condos. Last year's tax bill cut the top federal rate from 39.6% to 37%. However, it also capped deductions for state and local taxes to a flat $10,000. That's a real punch in the gut for Manhattanites paying 13% to the state and city. Throw in 3.8% more for Medicare, and that brings the total skim up to 54%. That's not as bad as the "one for you, nineteen for me" the Beatles sang about in Taxman. But it's hard to get rich if tax collectors are taking home more than you do!

And so, concludes the Post, "Bankers and traders will be celebrating the prospect of massive, multimillion dollar payouts — and they'll use the mega-expenses of year-end blowouts as write-offs for their inflated tax bills, according to industry sources."

It turns out, though, writing off a pricey dinner isn't a very tasty tax shelter. Let's say you treat yourself and three colleagues to the $795/person "white truffle" extravaganza at Daniel, an Upper East Side mainstay. (Relax, your wine pairings are already included in that price!) $3,200 sounds like a lot to shell out for dinner. But after you deduct 50% and multiply it by the 54% tax you save, Uncle Sam covers $864 of that bill. 

Now, $864 might cover the sales tax and tip. But in the end, it's a subsidy, not a savings. Nobody puts money in their pocket by splurging on Florida frog leg mousseline with porcini mushrooms in a white truffle white wine sauce. It's delicious, if you're into that sort of thing, and it looks great in your Instagram feed. But you can't retire on it (unless you're the celebrity chef selling it.) You'd think seven-figure financial wizards would be smart enough to figure that out! (Or maybe they're making so much it doesn't really matter?)

While bankers are out celebrating, they should raise a toast to a different blessing. The law that capped deductions for state and local taxes also eliminated them altogether for business entertainment. But Washington did such a clumsy job writing it that tax pros across the country worried it might have killed writeoffs for meals, too. Last month, the IRS clarified that meals are still deductible, so long as they're not "lavish or extravagant." So you tell us — does $795 for five courses of white truffles pass the test?

Nobody likes paying more tax than they have to, especially when they're paying 54%. But we understand the best tax plans are the ones that help you accomplish financial goals beyond a night out on the town. So call us when you're ready to save, and we'll give you something to celebrate!

Accountants Behaving Badly, Part 40

Big-league baseball players like the ones who just wrapped up the World Series enjoy careers that last 5.9 years on average, and with 162 games per year, they enjoy lots of chances to be heroes. But eventually, even the best of them hang up their cleats and join the rest of us in the real world. The lucky ones find high-profile gigs running car dealerships or calling games from the broadcast booth. But every once in a while, a former player manages to makes headlines where you'd least expect them — like working as an accountant!

Ben Hendrickson started out looking like he'd become one of the greats. In 2004, the promising right-hander went 11-3 for the International League Indianapolis Indians and won league MVP honors. Then he got his start in the big leagues. Wearing #40, he pitched 11 games for the Milwaukee Brewers, finishing 1-10 with a 7.41 ERA. (If you're not familiar with baseball stats, those numbers are no bueno.) Milwaukee sent him down to their Nashville farm team and eventually traded him away. But Hendrickson never made it back to "the show," and his bright light faded away.

Fast forward to 2018. Hendrickson is working as an accountant for Floors Northwest in Fridley, Minnesota, just north of Minneapolis. Like all too many Americans, he's working paycheck to paycheck and not getting ahead. How can he throw some heat and escape the grind? Hey, here's an idea! Baseball runners who want to advance to the next base don't have to wait for the batter to hit the ball . . . they can just take off running and steal it! So, if Hendrickson wants more money so badly, why not just steal it from the company?

Last week, Anoka County District Court charged Hendrickson with four counts of "theft by swindle," totaling about $250,000. That's a refreshingly blunt description for the charges against Hendrickson, which can mean trading him away for up to 20 years in a place with no organized baseball whatsoever.

Here's how the Minneapolis Star-Tribune described the criminal mastermind's evil plan:

"While working for Floors Northwest in Fridley, where Hendrickson worked for several years until he left his job last year, he would alter the amount of cash received to make it look like less was collected from sales staff. Hendrickson deposited the lower amount and kept the rest. Nearly $160,000 of the money he stole was taken in the final two years of his employment. He also allegedly shifted $10,000 of the company's money to a personal health care account that paid his medical bills."

Hendrickson admits he stole the money . . . but says he thought he took between $50,000 and $75,000. Which begs the question, just how bad an accountant do you have to be to not count how much you stole? After failing at baseball and bookkeeping, Hendrickson may find that a few years in the metalworking field (specifically, stamping license plates for 11 cents/hour) may be just the vocational training he needs!

We all understand wanting to get ahead. Fortunately, there's an easy way to do it, without risking a trip to the pokey. Call us for a tax plan, and see how many dollars we can advance into your pocket. We think of your average tax rate as your financial "earned run average," and we do everything legal to keep it as low as possible. So call us to take a swing, and watch us bring the heat!

A Scary Disconnect

 Legend holds that in 1494, an Italian friar named Luca Pacioli was sitting under an apple tree when an apple bounced off his head. In a flash of insight, he invented the "double-entry bookkeeping" system where each entry has a corresponding and opposite entry to a different account. Those entries, called debits and credits, help accountants avoid headaches — if the debits and credits don't balance, there's a mistake somewhere. (Some of you may be thinking that was Sir Isaac Newton with the apple inventing gravity, but this is our story and we're sticking to it.)

Double-entry bookkeeping has ruled accounting for over 500 years. We see it everywhere today, including in our tax code. Revenue flows in, balanced by expenses flowing out. Anything left over eventually winds up in the "taxable income" account.

Sometimes, with taxes, that balance breaks down, and many of those disconnects spell opportunity. Real estate investors, for example, can depreciate the price of their properties over time. (We can help you with "cost segregation" strategies to do it even faster.) In the IRS's ideal world, you'll repay those breaks by "recapturing" them as income when you sell. But with tax-free exchanges, stepped-up basis, and other strategies to avoid that reckoning, most of those depreciation deductions never get recaptured at all.

Now it's Halloween: America's second-favorite, and second-priciest, holiday. The National Retail Federation reports we dropped $9.1 billion on the spooky season last year, including $2.7 billion on candy. (Fun fact: Halloween candy is cheapest exactly four days before the 31st.) How does all that fit into Luca Pacioli's neat little boxes? Well, it gets scary the minute the greedy little trick-or-treater on the other side of your door goes running down your sidewalk with their loot!

Here's the disconnect. The candy company sells sweets to a retailer. That's a taxable transaction. The retailer sells them to you. That's another taxable transaction. But then you just give it to the little goblins, pirates, and princesses on your porch. No deduction for you, no income for them, no 1099s for the IRS. (Ugh. Can you imagine the 1099s?) That removes everything from the IRS's world of debits and credits. Seriously, if the IRS taxed kids on their Halloween candy, they could collect millions of dollars to cover free dental care for everyone.

It's all very ironic because, as any parent knows, Halloween is an exercise in managing the waste of assets. Your kids come home with bulging bags of candy and dreams of sugar highs lasting until Thanksgiving. But pretty soon the good stuff is gone. No more Kit-Kats or Snickers! They're left with a couple of "fun-size" Milky Ways, some of those Jolly Ranchers nobody really likes, and a few stale candy corns. At that point, you "charge off the goodwill" by throwing out the dregs while they're at school and hoping the kids don't even notice.

Today, your average accountant or tax professional focuses their effort on making sure the debits match the credits. But we don't just stop there. We take the time to look for those tax "disconnects" that can rescue thousands in taxes. There's nothing scary about it at all. So call us when you're ready to pay less. You'll think the savings are pretty sweet!

The Taxpayer Who Never Was

Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes the downs can be so low that it doesn't feel like there's ever going to be an up again. How many people have dreamed of faking their own death and disappearing under a new identity, never to return to their problems again? It's called "pseudocide," and it's popular enough that novelists have a field day writing thrillers about it. John Grisham pulls some variation of that stunt in half a dozen books, and J.K Rowling, Tom Clancy, and Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl) have all joined him in that theme.

Faking your death doesn't always work. In sixteenth-century Verona, a young nobleman named Romeo tried it with a deathlike potion, and we all know what happened to him. But that doesn't keep the occasional scammer from trying. Most famously, rock-and-roll legend Elvis Presley faked his death, and supported himself by entering Elvis impersonator contests. (He always laughed when he didn't win.) And if you have really valuable information on a really bad guy, the witness protection program will even establish your new identity for you!

There's no law that says you can't fake your death to go ride off into the sunset. But we got to wondering . . . what would our friends at the IRS think about that plan?

Let's start with your life insurance benefits. Code Section 101 says gross income doesn't include amounts your beneficiaries receive "if such amounts are paid by reason of the death of the insured." We're splitting hairs here, but wouldn't they still owe the tax if you aren't really dead? Or would they be safe because the insurance company paid them by reason of your death, even if you're not? (You can be sure that somewhere in America, there's an underemployed lawyer ready to bill by the hour to answer that question!)

Next, let's look at estate tax. Assuming your gross estate is over $11.18 million, and the rest of the world really believes you're dead, at some point your executor will file a return and pay 40% of the taxable amount above that threshold. What's for the IRS to complain about? But come on, folks. While it's true that money can't buy happiness, it can solve a lot of the problems that cause unhappiness. So how many people with $11.18 million are really going to fake their own death in the first place?

(While we're on the topic of estate taxes, it's worth mentioning that the current threshold means that the IRS gets only a couple thousand returns per year now anyway. As recently as 1997, when the threshold was just $600,000, they got 90,000 of them. That's one perk of working in the trusts and estates field: just because the client dies doesn't mean you have to stop billing them.) 

Finally, let's talk about anything you make after you pull your David Copperfield act. You'll earn it under a new name and social security number . . . but as long as you've set up your new identity properly, the IRS should be happy getting their usual share. Of course, there's that whole "identity fraud" problem. But hey, nobody said this would be easy!

Look, if life throws you a beanball, we understand the temptation to start fresh. But you will wind up crossing the line into fraud at some point. So if you're having a really bad day, can we suggest an easier (and perfectly legal) alternative? Come to us for a plan to pay less tax, and see if we can give you more reasons to enjoy the life you already have!

Don't Let These Guys Catch You Paying Taxes!

Streaming TV services like Netflix have changed how we watch television, dropping an entire season of a series at once for us to binge on. They've even breathed new life into "quality television," a phrase that used to provoke laughs from that insufferably smug type of person who used to brag that they didn't even own what we all used to call the "idiot box."

Netflix has mined TV gold from all sorts of settings. Orange is the New Black explores life inside a women's prison. Stranger Things is a love letter to classic 1980s sci-fi/horror films. And Bojack Horseman takes us inside the world of a half-man, half-horse, has-been TV star who drinks too much. It was only a matter of time before we'd see inside the upside-down world where the IRS unleashes investigators to chase business owners for . . . wait for it . . . paying their taxes.

Ozark introduces us to Marty Byrde, a frugal Chicago-area financial advisor and family man who drives a 10-year-old Honda and resists moving his firm to flashy new downtown offices. (Prudent, right?) One night, he takes an emergency meeting with his partner, where we discover his real business is laundering cash for a Mexican drug cartel. Then Marty learns his associates have stolen millions (spoiler alert: bad move) and watches the boss's sicarios slaughter them and nonchalantly stuff their bodies in barrels.

Marty, played by the always-slightly-oily Jason Bateman, survives by promising to repay what his partners stole and launder another $500 million. He moves his family to Missouri's Lake of the Ozarks, meets a colorful cast of local characters, and searches for businesses he can use to ply his trade. Meanwhile, investigators have found the bodies from the massacre and connected them to the partner who split town. Adventure and hilarity ensue for 20 episodes, and just like that, your entire weekend is gone.

As for the IRS, they don't get all judge-y about how you make your money. They just want their slice of the pie. (Pie is delicious.) But they do get judge-y when you try to pass off cherry pie as apple. That's a real problem for drug cartels. Their business generates cash, and lots of it. They can't just take suitcases full of Benjamins to the bank without raising red flags. They need to turn that dirty cash into legitimate funds they can use to buy things like jet planes, islands, and tigers on a gold leash.

That's where financial alchemists like Marty earn their keep. They find legit businesses (like a struggling restaurant and a skeevy "gentlemen's club") to hide behind. They run the cash through the legit business's books and deposit it in the legit business's bank. They even pay tax on it. Presto, no more narcodollars! It may not be the kind of business they teach in fancy MBA programs. There aren't any glitzy national conferences, or PR-minded professional associations with continuing education and ethics requirements. But hey, it's a living. (Until suddenly one day it's not.)

IRS agents who target Marty and his ilk are experts in following the money. They partner with agencies like the FBI and DEA to stop crooks from hiding their loot, even when "hiding" means paying taxes on it like anyone else.

Sadly, we can't help if you get mixed up with a Mexican cartel. But we can help you stop wasting money on taxes you don't have to pay. So call us when you're ready for a plan, and have fun binging on the savings!

Winning the Real World Cup

Here in the United States, we think our Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event around. Every four years, though, we're reminded that there are nearly seven billion other people on earth — and when it comes to sports, well, their version of futbol is even more popular than ours. This year's Super Bowl reached a record 111.5 million viewers, making it the most-watched event in U.S. history. That sounds impressive — but it pales next to the 3.2 billion who are expected to watch soccer's World Cup.

Of course, some things remain the same no matter how large a stage they occupy. Cities are willing to spend millions to host football's big game. And countries are willing to spend billions to host soccer's big event. Brazil has dropped $3.6 billion just to build and renovate stadiums for the games, including $300 million for the Arena Amazonia which will host only four games. And they've spent another $8 billion or so on infrastructure to support the games, like highways and airports.

As you can imagine, those direct expenses aren't the only costs associated with the game. That's because even the tax man has to stand for his share of penalty kicks! The Fédération Internationale de Football Association, or FIFA, requires host countries to grant all-encompassing tax exemptions to "FIFA's service suppliers established in Brazil" and "non-resident individuals hired or engaged to work in the events." This means no individual or corporate income taxes, no value-added or sales taxes, no excise taxes, and no other kind of taxes that local law might impose. Those tax breaks add to the host country's total burden by taking away revenue they might otherwise capture. And they extend even to international corporate sponsors like McDonald's and Anheuser-Busch InBev, maker of Budweiser. (What's the connection to soccer? Well, McDonald's has rolled out new French fry packaging with bold artwork celebrating the Cup. And there just might be a fan or two hoisting a Budweiser during the games.)

Now, some opponents of all that spending are calling foul on all that hype and cost. One antipoverty group estimates Brazil will give up as much as $569 million in revenue that could have been used to lift 37 million Brazilians out of poverty and improve basic services. "The price of these tax breaks for corporate giants will be paid by people living in poverty in Brazil and that is obscene," said Isabel Ortigosa of the Spanish group InspirAction. Her group is calling on FIFA President Sep Blatter to "give tax breaks for the World Cup sponsors the red card — and never impose these rules on World Cup host countries in the future."

Defenders reply that the goaltenders in Brazil's Federal Revenue Service will actually come out ahead with the Cup. Rabid soccer fans from across the globe are dropping billions in restaurants, bars, and hotels surrounding the 12 host stadiums. They'll spend millions more on souvenirs. And of course the Cup's winners will pay tax on the $576 million of prize money they earn for their skills.

Will this be the year the U.S. takes the Cup? Will 2014 be the year when the U.S. finally embraces soccer? Or will futbol disappear again for four more years, like biathlon, luge, and other "oddball" sports that only roll around for international competition? We have no idea. However, we can be pretty sure that, like FIFA, you want to pay less tax. So we give you a plan that gives you the strongest possible defense against IRS kicks. So enjoy the games, and call us when you're ready to put in the best goalie in the league!

There's an App for That

Managing the Internal Revenue Service is no easy job. It takes a lot of automation to process over two hundred million tax returns per year. And, while the Service still stores master tax records on computers commissioned during the Johnson administration (Lyndon, at least, not Andrew!), the IRS still spends hundreds of millions per year to take advantage of the latest information technology.

The geeks who manage the IRS's computers do a great job with the limited resources Congress gives them. But they want to be like the cool kids in Silicon Valley, too. So they've created an app, called IRS2GO, that you can download to your iPhone or Android device. You can use the IRS app to track your refund, find free tax return preparers, access your tax records, and even connect with the IRS on Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook.

Those are all great functions, of course. But we got to thinking . . . what sort of things would you really want an IRS app to do for you? We thought maybe these would be even more popular:

• The Refund Redirector: Knowing when your refund will show up is great. But the real fun is knowing where you're going to spend it. The Refund Redirector would aggregate prices from hundreds of online shopping sites to give you the best possible deal, then send your refund directly to the store. Planning to upgrade your family room to the latest 50-inch television? Let the Refund Redirector tell you where to buy it!

• Flappy Tax: Flappy Bird is the latest handheld gaming sensation, with 50 million downloads. The only problem is, it's too hard to get that stupid bird through that stupid opening between those stupid pipes! Our version would let you thread a helpless taxpayer through a maze of tiny loopholes. But if you think that flappy bird has it tough, wait 'till you see our red tape!

• Red Light/Green Light: This updated version of the classic children's party game would use an easy-to-understand traffic light to tell you if your deductions will fly with the IRS. Want to write off the mileage to and from the orthodontist for tightening your kid's braces? Green light! Thinking about writing off a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate your latest business deal? Yellow light for the "lavish and extraordinary" expense. Hoping the IRS "won't notice" that Swiss bank account you opened last year? Stop!

• YelpTax: Apps like TripAdvisor, Urbanspoon, and Yelp let you post restaurant reviews before you even get the bill. Our version would let you review auditors and other IRS staff. How much more pleasant do you think an audit would be if the examiner knew you could rate him from one to five stars on punctuality, friendliness, service, and atmosphere? (If only they could say "we know you have a choice in auditors today . . . .")

We love how technology automates so many tasks to make our days easier and more productive. We love how the Internet puts a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. But there's still no substitute for good, old-fashioned expertise and experience. And you can't get that from an app. That's where we come in. We can give you the plan you need to pay less tax. We can help you implement that plan without having to tap it all out on a tiny screen. So call us when you're ready for the most up-to-date tax-saving strategies and concepts. And remember, winning the tax game is more fun than anything you can do on your phone!