Words of Wisdom

If you've spent any time online lately, you're familiar with so-called "listicles" — those irresistible lists of trivial facts that pass for "online content" these days. You know what we mean: "13 Cute Cat Videos to Watch Now," or "27 Hot Celebrities Who Overcame Teenage Acne," or even "5 Redesigned Acme Products That'll Help Wile E. Coyote Murder Roadrunner." Listicles may sound like something new, but they've actually been around since Moses came down from Mt. Sinai. And who are we to buck such a popular trend? So here, for your reading pleasure, are "Eight Quotes About Taxes to Put A Smile on Your Face":

"If the Lord had meant us to pay income taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to prepare the return."
Kirk Kirkpatrick

"I have no idea what was in my federal tax return. Like 93 percent of all U.S. taxpayers, I just sign it and send it in. For all I know, it states that I am a professional squid wrangler."
Dave Barry

"The Opera reminds me of my tax audit. It was in a language I didn’t understand. And it ended in tragedy."
Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins (‘‘Jeff MacNelly’s Shoe’’)

"Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS."
Frank Luntz

"Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form."
Laurence J. Peter (the "Peter Principle")

"Like many Americans, I face a patriotic dilemma: how much cheating can I get away with? It's important to pay your taxes but it's just as important to pay as little tax as possible. Think of it as putting government on a diet."
Stephen Colbert

"Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution."
Woody Allen

"Government can’t deliver a free lunch to the country as a whole. It can, however, determine who pays for lunch."
Warren Buffett

Look, we realize any one of David Letterman's "Top Ten" lists is probably funnier than a collection of tax quotes. But can David Letterman give you a plan for paying less tax? We didn't think so!

Thoughts on Taxes for 2014

2013 has been a big year for taxes. The "fiscal cliff" deal boosted the top federal income tax rate to 39.6%; "Obamacare" added new taxes on top earners; and dozens of state and local governments raised their taxes, too. Congress will finish 2013 even more divided than it began, which will probably protect us from new taxes next year. But here are some quotes to ease the sting of this year's higher bills:

"[A tax loophole is] something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform."
Sen. Russell B. Long (D-LA)

"The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."
Anonymous

"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement.' Not so. No one was fooled."
Dan Quayle

"When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes."
Hall of Fame pitcher Don Drysdale

"When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin."
Mae West

"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that’s where we must focus our efforts."
Dave Barry

"Late one night, just blocks from the Capitol, a mugger jumped into the path of a well-dressed fellow and stuck a gun in his ribs. 'Give me your money,' the thief demanded. 'Are you kidding?' the man said. 'I’m a U.S. congressman.' 'In that case,' the mugger growled, cocking his weapon, 'give me my money.'"
Playboy Magazine

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."
George Bernard Shaw

On a more serious note, we wish you all the best this holiday season, and we look forward to serving all your tax-planning needs in 2014!

Final Tax Thoughts for 2012

Final Tax Thoughts for 2012

2013 is almost here, and it looks like that old Grinch is leaving a "fiscal cliff" under everyone's tree. Here are a few final thoughts to help usher in the New Year: 

"There's no line on the tax return that asks 'what are you not telling us?'"
Robert Goulder (tax attorney) 

"The rich, indeed, are different from the rest of us; they have shiftier tax lawyers."
Jim McTeague (columnist, Barron's) 

"Dear Tax Commissioner: Three years ago I cheated on my taxes. Since then I have been unable to sleep at night. Enclosed is $5,000. If I still can't sleep, I'll send you the rest."
Anonymous

"If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract -- teach him to deduct."
Fran Lebowitz

"The ancient Egyptians built elaborate fortresses and tunnels and even posted guards at tombs to stop grave robbers. In today's America, we call that estate planning."
Rep. William R. Archer (former Chair, House Ways and Means Committee) 

"[A] tax lawyer is a person who is good with numbers but does not have enough personality to be an accountant."
James D. Gordon III (BYU Law School) 

"Make sure you pay your taxes; otherwise you can get in a lot of trouble."
Richard M. Nixon

"Just because you have a briefcase full of cash doesn't mean you're out to cheat the government."
Pete Rose

"From a tax point of view, you're better off raising horses or cattle than children."
Former U.S. Rep. Patricia Schroeder

We wish we could tell you exactly what's going to happen with the fiscal cliff and taxes. But we can promise we'll be here to help you make the best of it, in 2013 and beyond. And remember, we're here for your family, friends, and colleagues too!